Leaving church: when preachers perform

Transcript below.

So, I just want to talk a little bit today about the performative aspect of ministry. And what I mean by that is, you know, Rob and I have talked in the past about how similar it can be for pastors, preachers, who, you know, especially for larger churches, mega churches, thousands of people come week after week, and there’s a sense of… you know people who become actors have this, like, preparation, like mental, emotional, physical preparation to be on stage. And it’s not that different from being at the pulpit.

Now don’t go crazy. I’m clearly not saying that all preachers are charlatans and grifters. That’s not what I’m saying at all. And I’m not saying there aren’t some, but I don’t know. I’m not the Holy Spirit. I can’t read people’s hearts. What I can do is look at their fruit. And what I can do is say, you know, I listen to this person’s sermons, and then I see the way they behave in real life, and it’s not adding up. Or worse, what they’re saying in their sermons is, you know, indicative of how they live their lives and how it’s wrong. So there’s that, too. I mean, you know, I’ve heard countless stories of victims who’ve come forward of spiritual abuse or other abuses and say, you know, the pastor would preach on Sunday and say, like, passive-aggressive things about people in their congregations, which, gosh, that’s next level to me. It is next level evil. It really is. Using God’s pulpit to shame or embarrass people in your congregation is…no. So there’s that.

But the performative nature of being a preacher, of being the one who is up front week after week, of being the leader, the shepherd, the one that everyone’s looking to for spiritual counsel and authority in their lives, it is a big calling. There is absolutely increased responsibility and should be increased accountability for every single thing they do.

Here’s what’s hard about it is that you have folks who say, well, you know, these men, women, are called to the position by God. And so… we do everything we can to support and encourage them. It’s a tough gig. We all know that. It is. It’s a tough gig. There are things about being a pastor that’s not like any other job. And I want to make it clear that I believe that. There are things about being a pastor that just inherently create more accountability in terms of how you live your life. Because of what I’m saying. You get up, you go week to week, you preach, and then your life needs to be, I mean, every aspect of your life needs to be above reproach. So there’s that.

Now, it becomes really difficult to separate out when there are accusations made of a pastor and addressing those things. Because what most people know about their pastor is what they see on Sunday mornings and not necessarily what happens behind the curtain, so to speak.

And so the performative nature, I mean, it’s similar again to people who are actors and some form of celebrity, right? Like people who have this idea that they know these people. Don’t you have an actor that you love and you love watching and just watch everything, you run out to watch everything that that person’s in and you kind of feel like you know them. You watch interviews or you know, read stuff about them and just you kind of feel like you know them. You don’t, you don’t.

I mean, certainly there are some who are probably a lot more, you know, a friend. They are who they are, right? And the same is true of pastors. There are some pastors who are really very transparent and what you see is what you get. And there’s no, you know, uh, subterfuge whatever, right? Like, it’s just, it’s who they are.

Uh, but then there are some who aren’t. And that’s the work that we’re doing now. There are some who have been exposed. The curtain’s been pulled back. And now we’re looking at this man who’s been manipulating behind the scenes, and trying to create this persona that isn’t true. It isn’t who he really is.

And, you know, I can’t help but think about some of the stories that we’ve heard over the years, even just since 2020, when so much came out and continues to, I mean, just, I mean, we have seen this avalanche of accusations. And yes, partly it’s because we’re just much more public about it now. People are coming out of the woodwork to say “This happened to me” and that’s a good thing. It’s good. Anyone who tells you it’s not good is trying to hide something or trying to control something.

It’s good that these stories are coming out because we need to deal with it. We need to deal with the man behind the curtain who has been terrorizing. When you think about that story of Oz, this man has been terrorizing the land for so long and just allowed to do it. He’s just allowed to run this country or the land of Oz for so long and just cast these narratives about who’s good and who’s bad. And you know the whole scene where Dorothy comes in and her crew and they have this experience of just fear and dread.

Anyway, the performative nature of that and how so many of these pastors are being found out now really should give us all pause about what we’ve believed this whole time about church, about its role in our lives, and about spiritual authority in our lives and how we are to engage with the obvious abuse of power, control, authority, and trying to understand how to move forward. Not to ignore what happened or just forgive and forget.

We need to learn.

We need to level up.

We need to figure out a better way and build something more beautiful and more Christ-like in our churches. And that’s the work that we’re doing now.

Many of us are talking, we’re reading, we’re studying, we’re comparing notes, and we’re getting the truth out there because that’s where the freedom is and that’s where the growth is, and that’s where I believe God is going to show up and God’s going to do something with all of our pain, with all of the questions that we have, with all of the frustrations that we’ve faced and the fear and the self-doubt, the gaslighting. I mean, we do it to ourselves and we do it to other people. It’s questioning our own realities. Like, did this really happen? Am I making too much of it?

OR am I not making enough of it?

Because I think at the end of the day, yeah, when… When you put your head down on a pillow, what do you think? What are you thinking about? What do you really believe about what’s happening?

In those moments where I have just been beside myself in grief, bitterness, anger, and I have these moments with the Holy Spirit who tells me I am not alone. I’m not crazy. And I give it all to Him, I give it back to Jesus, and I say please do something with this, and He does. He shows up, there are things that happen that I couldn’t have predicted, I couldn’t have planned for, I couldn’t have made happen, and so much of it is out of my hands.

But I see Him working, and I still believe that there is hope. There’s hope, there’s movement towards true peace and not this false peace that we’ve been having to accept for years. There is true peace that will be brought about when the people of God are committed to truth and committed to each other and committed to justice. Because there’s no other way forward, there’s not. The American church will die if we are not working hard through the power of Jesus Himself to right the wrongs and to bring the truth to light. So let’s do that.

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